Following post is contributed by our member teahers Aaron & Chantelle
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In every relationship there is always fire…If there isn’t fire, then it isn’t love. If it doesn’t insist that you expand, if it doesn’t make you FEEL IT ALL…Every Single Drop of bliss, ecstasy, terror and fear, only to then have you growing in ways you never imagined possible, then you haven’t really loved. If it doesn’t insist that you turn down the light sometimes in order to get to know that dark places buried inside of you, then you haven’t really loved. If it doesn’t inspire you, enliven you, nurture you, make you feel for the first time that you are not alone in this world, then it isn’t really love.  But there is a big difference between true loves fire and what poses to be true love.

If you give your heart to a man or woman who doesn’t want it… Or who is not in a position to be able to truly hold it, consistently, yes, the fire of transformation will be forced upon you and you will burn baby burn and experience so much heartache and pain that you will have to grow, or life will become too unbearable…but this is not true love.

If on the other hand, you give your heart to a man or a woman who does want it and who is in a position to hold it, consistently, then you will experience the Fire of Initiation.  This fire does not burn you, but rather burns anything that is not your true self.  Yes it is sometimes painful and difficult as your identity dies but guess what? You can reach through the fire for your beloved’s hand, a hand that is always there for you to hold onto, which turns you into a magical being who can walk through fire without getting burnt!!!! This is the fire of true love.

The second fire is a conscious mature choice, the first is a symptom of the unconscious choice made by the child within us who wants to relive an abandonment wound so that it can heal. What if you could heal this wound without having to suffer in relationship? (I can help you with that in a new session I have created call “fire sessions”.) Without choosing encounters that are so full at the time…yet leave you feeling empty? Without turning crumbs into gold? You deserve someone whose hand will be there for you to reach and hold onto when the proverbial fire is burning, then celebrate with you the next unveiling.


You are doing most of the initiating, chasing and following around…sometimes revolving your whole life around this person. In fact, without your efforts and commitment to love, the relationship would most likely eventually dissolve. Your deepest longing and deepest needs don’t REALLY matter…the need that matters most is your need to fit into your lover/partners life and when they can see you. You can feel deep deep moments of joy, opening and healing, only to then experience the shock of separation… let’s not call that true love, please!


There is equal effort, enthusiasm and willingness that naturally moves from a heart that is burning with passion. Your life, your needs and your visions are important as are your fears and deepest longings.  You are never too much!!!! You can be a gentle garden, a raging storm, a cool breeze or a warm fire…you are always loveable.   Your beloved wants to spend hours making love to you, talking to you, getting to know every part of you, laying with you and there is no need to dress anything up or impress because the authentic energy of love makes for simple joy filled living and loving whenever you are together.  You are a PRIORITY NOT AN OPTION!!!!!!

What does it look like when someone is not in a position where they can hold our heart consistently? You are often burning alone and…the only one doing the burning!!! Your partner or lover is either absent, with another woman, burdened and becoming a victim to the symptom of your burns as they take their toll, or playing out the teacher/saviour. Sometimes a combination of all of the above.   The relationship is not equal and there is an imbalance of power.  You are a favourable option but not a priority.

The second scenario can be likened to a rendezvous with the proverbial passing by sailor.  Amazing yet leaving you in somewhat of an emotional torture chamber.  The first scenario can be likened to the dance between the ocean and a great sailing boat…the masculine in both of you is the boat and the feminine is the ocean.

“The masculine navigates from one point to another.  It takes the ocean currents, the wind and the shifting tides into account as it moves toward its destination.  The strength of the feminine could crush the masculine at any time.  But with skill, the boat can joyfully ride with the oceans power…The ocean is all in motion, all energy but doesn’t go anywhere specific.  The boat can be devoured by the ocean, but it can also move with currents, whereas the ocean flows in many directions at once.  The immensity of feminine energy, couple with the direction of masculine vision result in fullness and balance.”

David Deida

In other words, an equal relationship surrounded by rings of purifying flame that do not leave you feeling abandonded but rather give you the experience of dancing in the mysterious ocean depths of true love. So that when you are together, in and out of the bedroom you have invoked the full living presence of Mother Father God to posses everything within you. You FEEL SAFE and have an absolute KNOWING that this is the TRUTH. Persistent feelings of anxiety, uneasiness and dissatisfaction drop away as you realise what it is that your deep feminine heart has been truly longing for all along.

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It is the fire force at the centre of true love that truly initiates you. That is cleansing, unstoppable, un-pollutable, undefeatable, rapturous, passionate and creative.  It is the fire that leaves you curled up to in the beloved’s arms after courageously walking through the flames, not the burning fire in the heart that longs to be held and catapults you into growth but the fire that initiates, transforms, creates and beholds.  Indeed, when a lover or partner is not “there” for you enough times, a fierce feminine fire begins to build and get more and more pissed off.  She is the warrior woman, hard and strong and asking for more than the beloved wants to give, but only because she’s remembering she deserves love.  And so the beloved must face her and have the courage to face what must die, or leave her, and possibly regret it for the rest of his life.

This is the full gift of fire.

On this day – I say to my fellow brothers and sisters – if you ever find yourself a situation where you are left to burn on your own – without the beloved’s hand to reach out to – know that I Am here to help fan your internal nurturing flames when it seems as if they are almost totally nonexistent, and to remind you that there is another choice.

I also want to say thank you to my current partner for being by my side and showing me what true love looks and feels like. Since I began the journey of surrendering to you, I have not had to feel the shock of separation, even when we are physically apart. The ecstatic fires keep burning in a furnace of trust and safety as the feeling of your committed loving presence stay with me.

“My Sweet Heart, every moment with you is sacred, you have flooded the pool of my love, your presence makes the world true, and this wondrous love is the reality I have known all my life. In the face of every cynic and bruised and broken lover, I knew you existed, I looked for you…You have rained upon my battlefield with flowers and now the fruit of new life grows within me”

Taken from Every Moment is Sacred – Peruquois


Please contact me for a session if you can relate to this on your own personal journey and would like some further guidance

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