Sexuality Starts With You
Following post is contributed by our member teahers Aaron & Chantelle
Want to share something unique with readers around the world? Read TantraLovers Submissions Guidelines
Feeling sexy, powerful, attractive, radiant & confident starts from the inside. It is the energy we hold that makes us most attractive, when it is emanating from our core. How you dress or present yourself only amplifies that. If we search for external validation, the way we feel about ourselves is always dependant on what others think. When it comes from within, it doesn’t matter what is going on around you, you can still feel good about yourself.
It is difficult to feel sexy or confident when you’re not looking after your body with nourishing food & movement—and it is even harder to feel sexy when self-talk or thoughts are unsupportive or critical.
If you want to FEEL sexy & confident, start treating yourself with care, respect and love. Make your self-pleasure practice a priority and look after your health. Look at yourself in the mirror the way you’d want a lover to look at you. Connect to your body and be present with yourself. Touch yourself the way you would want a lover to touch you. Speak to yourself the way you would want a beloved to speak to you. Choose to let go of any limiting beliefs around your body, sexuality, abilities or anything else that holds you back from being your sexy, confident self!
~ Georgia Rose, Embodied Awakening Practitioner and Teacher
(Excerpt from the Sacred Sexuality Online Course Manual, by Chantelle Raven).
Until you know yourself, until you feel whole and complete within yourself, you will not be able to stand strong in the world with loving masculine presence or radiate in your sensual aliveness, confidence and feminine playfulness. You will feel incomplete. You will search for completion and validation through others, especially partners.
In my own experience with relationships, I tried everything until I realised that the only way I could feel completely satisfied sexually and emotionally was to love myself and find my inner beloved. This has been a journey of intense self-exploration culminating in the inner union of my own masculine and feminine. It has been a journey of realising and understanding that no one but me is responsible for my sexual satisfaction or for my emotional stability.
Tantra has a reputation for intense marathon-like sex sessions and whilst it is true that Tantric sex lasts much longer and is more intense, Tantra is much more than that.
Tantra is an ancient spiritual tradition that involves exploring your Self and who you really are. It asks you: who are you without your masks and without your inhibitions. It frees you to be fully present, fully alive and in a state of openness. Unlike most spiritual traditions, Tantra does not exclude sexuality but merges mindfulness with all aspects of the human experience, including sex.
Indeed, Tantric Sex (whether it is solo or with another) is a body-based meditation. With a partner, two whole beings come together, overflowing into each other and connecting to Spirit. Without words, Tantrics are saying to each other ‘I love me, I love you and I love Spirit.’ That’s why Tantric Sex doesn’t really ‘work’ without the awareness generated by a self-loving practice and self-exploration. Unless both people have a strong connection to themselves and Spirit as well as each other, it’s not really Tantra. When one person is Tantric and the other is not, this has its own challenges because it becomes very easy for dependency to form. The student or novice of Tantra can get addicted to the ‘high’ that the Tantric person takes them to, which they cannot attain on their own.
There are three ways to prepare for Tantric Sex and Tantric Relating that we explore more deeply in the Sacred Sexuality Online Course. These three ways are:
- Through merging your own masculine and feminine (Inner Union)
- Through becoming your own lover with a self-pleasure practice that holds inner union at the centre (feminine style of opening).
- Through somatic (body-based) meditation (masculine style of opening) which lays the foundations; presence and safety for the feminine heart to fully open, as without cultivating your own masculine holding you, the heart will be guarded by walls of fear and protection.
These tools lead to men becoming a present conduit of masculine loving awareness, who can also experience themselves as a radiant force of feminine creativity and receptivity. And women become the radiant force of feminine creation and receptivity whilst experiencing their capacity for masculine loving awareness and presence. And they not only prepare you for amazing Tantric sex but prepare you for approaching life and all it’s different aspects, from a space of complete knowing and love of self.
If you would like to explore this further, check out our online course, Sacred Sexuality. You can also explore our Free Resources further including the links below.